Monday, January 26, 2015

Short Story - Life Sentence

When the verdict was read out, he laughed.
His loud voice rang through the courtroom, sending chills down the spines of the jury members. Head thrown back and teeth showing, he was lead out the door by two armed guards. 
“Four life sentences?!” he choked out between peals of laughter. “Why not make it five, or six? Won’t make a difference to me!”
The door shut, and the courtroom fell eerily silent. Slowly, the audience rose and departed, climbing into their carriages and heading home with a sinking feeling in their stomachs.

The man had been in the same isolated cell for roughly twenty years, the guards guessed, but he looked as youthful as the day he was condemned. He paced the cell every day in a futile effort to expend his restless energy, banned from going outside. The guards would never say it to one another, but when the pacing sped up and the inmate began muttering under his breath, they all gripped their guns a little tighter.

No one remembered when the man had first been assigned to his cell, and the old paper records had been lost when they had transferred everything to digital. The only information they had was a countdown, the ever-shrinking number of years until he was released.
Of course, he would probably die of old age before he walked freely again.
The man was peaceful enough, it seemed. He would pleasantly request a paper every morning, and on the occasion the warden approved the request, he would spend days without speaking, going over every single word until it must have been etched into his brain. Piles of old papers grew in the corners, stacked with loving care,
The oldest guard there liked to tell everyone how, when he had first began working at the jail, the prisoner would walk back and forth like a tiger cooped up for too long. But after more time had passed, the other guards dismissed this as no more than a tale made to frighten the youngest recruits.


No one thought anything of it when the man’s countdown hit zero. After they brought him through the necessary paperwork and retuned to him the contents of a small locker of belongings. It was only after the man had walked off towards the city that the guards realized that none of them could remember when the man first came to the jail, despite the fact that he couldn’t be much older than twenty-five. 

Writing Exercise - Write a story based on your iPod on shuffle

Blackbirds by The Beatles
It was a beautiful morning outside, and Emily stretched as she listened to the blackbirds chirruping outside. She sat up and stretched, then swung her feet to the side and jumped out of bed. 
One of the Boys by Katy Perry
Quickly, she grabbed a pair of overalls from her closet and pulled on a faded pink shirt. As she pulled the overall straps over her shoulders, she also grabbed a nice necklace off of her jewellery rack. 
She walked downstairs with a bounce in her step, and grabbed a frying pan off of the kitchen shelf. Quickly mixing up batter for pancakes, she threw the pan on top of the stove and set it cooking.
Exterminate Regenerate by Chameleon Circuit
Her father ambled downstairs, and Emily stiffened. She continued cooking the pancakes silently, trying to ignore her father sleepily pulling out a chair behind her at the kitchen table.
“Morning, Em,” he said quietly.
“Dad,” she replied cordially.
Sighing, he stood, and set the coffee maker going.
“For how long are you going to be mad at me?” Emily’s father asked. Emily continued ignoring him, flipping the pancake onto its other side. 
“Em,” he tried starting again. “The farm needs you. The cows don’t even like me any more. And you don’t really need any more education if you’re going to work here. You already-“
Emily flipped the pancake into her hand, and slammed the pan back down onto the stove.
“You can make your own pancake this morning,” she said coldly. “I’m going to do my chores.”
Jamie’s Crying by Van Halen
She could here her father protesting behind her, but pulled on her dirty rain boots, grabbed her bag, and left the house in a flounce anyways.
Outside, she welcomed the quiet once again. It was refreshing, like a sweet drink of water after a mountain hike. She headed out towards the western barn.
The cows were calmly waiting for her when she opened the doors, and walking quietly into the pasture as she herded them out. 
Once the cows were safe out in the fields Emily hopped up on a fence to watch them. She wouldn’t need to do much until it was time to milk the cows , so she pulled off her bag and opened it, digging through for her schoolbooks.
She had the averages. She had the drive. Emily was sure at a good college she could learn so much about how to make the farm better, more marketable, more profitable. She didn’t even want to go far, just to the good community college out in town where she could come home for the weekends.

Short Story - Fairy Eyes

Arthur wanted nothing more than to get his english homework done. And really, he didn’t think that was too much to ask.
The fairy sitting in the middle of his binder would disagree.
“Move!” he hissed through his teeth, hoping none of the other students working in the library would hear him. “I’m serious! Can’t you go bug someone else?”
“That’s the point!” she said, pouting and crossing her arms. “Were you listening to anything I just said?”
Arthur was about to argue that he would have, had he not been preoccupied with his homework, when a hand slammed down on top of his papers. The fairy would have been squashed if she hadn’t fluttered up at just the right moment.
“Aww, Artie,” crooned a voice. “You aren’t so lonely you talk to yourself now, are you?
“Shut up, Clay,” Arthur snapped. “I’m just trying to get my homework done.” 
“And are your imaginary friends being particularly helpful with that today?” Clay sneered, still speaking with a disgusting baby voice.
Arthur had to resist the urges to stab his pencil into the hand that still rested on his work. The fairy, however, seemed to have no such qualms, and tugged sharply on a hangnail that protruded from Clay’s middle finger.
Clay jerked his hand back, scowling and confused. 
“Later, freak,” he spat, and retreated to another corner of the library.
Arthur sighed and began gathering his books, his concentration for homework ruined.
The fairy pulled on his sleeve as he attempted to pack up his bag. “C’mon,” she cried. “You have to listen!”
“No,” replied Arthur simply. He was used to these kinds of shenanigans, and he knew from experience that following a fairy somewhere would usually get him locked in a closet or pushed into a pool.
“Mulberry!” another fairy flew up to the first, appearing to be in a similar frazzled state. “Did you hear?”
“I saw!” replied Mulberry. “With my own two eyes!”
Arthur decided to use the distraction to sneak away form the two fairies, ducking out of the library. Unfortunately, he wasn't fast enough and they zoomed out the door with him just before it closed.
“Did you tell him?” asked Mint, continuing on the conversation as if Arthur wasn’t there.
“He’s not listening to me,” replied Mulberry sadly.
“Well, I guess we’ll just have to show him!” Mint swooped down and pulled one of the notebooks off of the top of Arthur’s pile. Mulberry grabbed the other corner, and they both flew off with it down the hallway at a surprisingly rapid speed. 
“Wait!” yelled Arthur. “I need that!”
He ran down the hallway after them, hoping no one would notice him chasing what they would think was a floating notebook down the hall. The fairies banked suddenly around a corner, disappearing from Arthur’s sight. Arthur put on a burst of speed, knowing all too well his notebook could end up in one of the school’s toilets.
As he turned the corner, Arthur ran headlong into another student. They both fell backwards, books spilling all over the floor.
“So sorry, “ Arthur muttered as he tried to get his books back in order. “Wasn’t looking.”
“Hey, man, me either,” the other student said. “No worries.”
They both straightened up, checking to make sure they had the correct books. The fairies that had stolen Arthur’s book had been joined by three more, and they were fluttered around the boys’ heads like gnats.
If Arthur wasn’t watching closely enough he would have sworn he was mistaken, but for just a second the other student’s eyes left his, and focused onto one of the many fairies. Then, in one smooth motion that could have been a casual wave, he plucked one of the fairies out of the air and stuffed her into an open pocket in the side of his bag.
“No harm, no foul, then?” he asked, somehow missing the baffled expression on Arthur’s face. “See you around, dude.” 
The student turned and walked back down the hall, two of the fairies following him and attempting to free their trapped comrade.

“Wait!” yelled Arthur.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Story Chapter: Here with Me, Chapter 1

Chapter 1
The ticking of the cheap plastic clock on the wall of the office echoed in Luke’s ears, making the seconds feel longer than they should. He wished he had brought a book to distract himself with, but knew he was too wound up to read. The wait had strung his nerves torturously thin.
He looked over at Jacques, sitting in the chair next to him. He was pulling on his tie, loosening and tightening the careful windsor knot until the fabric was rumpled and uneven. Luke wanted nothing more than to reach over and fix it, but he was afraid his hands would shake.
Luke and Jacques had been trying to become foster parents for over a year. And now, after all the collecting of references, background checks, and nerve-wracking interviews, they were finally there.
Caberry, Matthew. Fifteen, born July first. Entered foster care when he was nine. That was all the information the couple had received on the sparse file that was finally thrown their way, and it had left them plenty of room for imagination. The two had sat up all the previous night imagining what their future child would be like. Would he be into sports? Or would he prefer sitting inside? Perhaps he could cook, like Jacques? Maybe, Luke had speculated, he would like reading. He couldn’t count the number of times he had sat up at night imagining sharing his favourite books with a son or daughter.
The door to the reception area opened, and their social worker walked out. Both Luke and Jacques stood up.
“Gentlemen,” said the woman, smiling benevolently. “This is Matthew.”
The boy shuffled out nervously from behind the social worker. Matthew Caberry was gangly, with overgrown auburn hair that just brushed his shoulders. His eyes were hidden behind glasses, though his persistence in his gaze at the floor meant Luke wouldn’t be able to see them even if he weren't wearing the round thick-lensed monstrosities. A dirty hockey bag hung over one scrawny shoulder.
Jacques was the first to break the silence, nodding politely and smiling just like the pamphlets said they were supposed to.
“Hello Matthew,” he said. “I’m Jacques and this is my partner, Luke.”
Matthew’s eyes didn’t leave the ground. “Nice to meet you,” he muttered, in a soft, whispery voice that Luke had to strain to catch.
“I’m sure you boys will get along fine,” said the social worker. “Now, Matthew, lets get your stuff to the Brunet-Jackson’s car, all right?”

After a deathly silent car ride, the makeshift family arrived home. Luke had agreed with Jacques that they should do a short tour first, as one book had suggested, and the couple lead Matthew into the house and immediately up the stairs.
“So, this will be your bedroom,” said Jacques, opening a door at the end of the hall. “Our room is down there -“ he pointed. “- And the bathroom’s next to your room.”
Matthew nodded, staring at the hallway rug. 
“So… how about you get settled in?” asked Luke. “Jacques and I will start on dinner. Then after we eat we can give you a tour of the rest of the house.”
Matthew nodded again, and Jacques turned to head back downstairs. Luke hesitated.
“Are you sure you don’t need any help unpacking?” he asked. 
“Yes, sir.”
Luke rubbed the back of his neck, which was sore even thought the car ride had been brief. “Ah… there’s no need to call me sir, Matthew.”
“What should I call you, then?” Matthew asked in his soft, soft voice.
“Just Luke would be fine, if that’s all right with you.”
“Same for me,” piped in Jacques. “You can call me Jacques.”
Matthew nodded, and started backing slowly into his room. Luke followed his partner down the stairs, looking back over his shoulder as the door closed with a quiet click.
When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he saw Jacques reaching for the wine cupboard.
“No way,” Luke said. “We have a child in the house.”
Jacques’s hand changed direction mid-air. He grabbed the french press and flipped the electric kettle on. “My God,” he said. “I didn’t realize that this would be so… tense.”
Luke sighed, fetching his mug from the cupboard and plopping a tea bag into it. “He’s a foster kid. God knows what he’s been through, or how many families he’s had. We both read the paperwork.”
“I know,” Jacques ran his hand through his hair. “I just want it to be easier. I want him to feel at home here.”
Luke gave a halfhearted smirk, and tried to fall back into the pattern of arguing he knew so well. “Well, maybe he’d feel more at home if your stupid accent wasn’t polluting the air.”
“How could you say that to me,” askedJacques, a hand over his heart and a smile growing on his face. “When I speak only ze language of love?! Eet eez your stupide American accent zhat drives ze people away!”
Luke smacked him on the shoulder. “C’mon. We have to make dinner.”
“You mean I have to make dinner, and you have to try and not let your mere presence cause the food to revolt,” muttered Jacques, jumping away and laughing when Luke swung again.

Matthew dragged his bag to the centre of the bedroom and gave the room a once-over. The walls were a gender-neutral shade of sunny yellow, and two beds with yellow quilts sat on either side of the room. The dresser matched the bedside tables and the warm brown rug matched the curtains, making the room look like it was more ready for a photo shoot than to house a kid. It reminded Matthew of a magazine picture, like it was an example of a generic kid’s room instead of somewhere a real person with actual interests could live. 
He pushed the heavy hockey bag over to the bed furthest from the door and shoved it underneath. He wasn’t really going to unpack yet. It would just be a hassle to pack back up again when he had to leave.
Matthew walked the perimeter of the room, examining but not touching anything. There was a punching bag in the corner, the bright red fabric clashing with all other decor in the room. A foster teen may need a way to express their anger in a healthy way; it is a good idea to give them a safe outlet for them to do so. Matthew had read the books and pamphlets on foster kids whenever they had been lying around, and he was smart enough to know that was code for try to prevent your foster kid from breaking your stuff by giving them something to punch. 
When Matthew had confirmed all his initial findings, he sat down on his new bed. A guttural noise emerged from his gut, making him jump lightly when it interrupted the silence. He hoped dinner would be ready soon.
Flopping backwards, he thought about his new foster parents. They didn’t seem too bad. So far they hadn’t barraged him with a whole bunch of rules, but he was guessing they would wait until dinner to do that. They probably weren’t scary-religious, because there were no crosses or cross-stitched bible quotes in the room, and no one had mentioned Hell yet. That was a plus. 
But the room seemed so pristine and unblemished, and they were so nervous that he guessed they were first-timers. He wasn’t sure of that was a good or bad thing.
Matthew pushed thoughts of his new predicament out of his head, trying to enjoy his newfound alone time.

Dinner was turning out to be as silent and awkward as the car ride had been. Though Jacques had prepared an incredible roast beef with all the fixings, Matthew had only taken a small portion, and seemed entirely focused on cutting up each piece of meat and chewing it very slowly. 
Jacques rubbed the wedding band on his finger, twisting it around his finger. He looked sideways at Luke, who gave him a shaky smile. 
Jacques took a deep breath. “So, Matthew,” he said, trying to break the silence as nonchalantly and calmly as possible. 
Matthew’s eyes darted up from his plate. It was probably the first time Jacques had seen him make anything close to eye contact with him. His eyes were a surprisingly clear and watery blue in the kitchen lights. 
Jacques cleared his throat. “Did you enjoy the dinner?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“Jacques is a chef,” Luke offered, trying to get some conversation going. “He works at a restaurant downtown. He does most of the cooking.”
“Yes, because god help you if Luke ever cooks,” Jacques cracks a nervous grin. “The woman at poison control knows me by name now.”
Angry spots of colour bloomed on Luke’s cheeks. “The only reason she knows you is because of your stupid accent,” he snapped. 
“Luke, Maureen has sent us Christmas cards for the past two years. It’s not my accent.”
Jacques could swear he saw a ghost of a smile on Matthew’s face, but it was gone before he could be sure.
“Anyways,” said Luke. “I work as an editor, so I mostly stay at home. Speaking of which, do you think you would like to start school right at the beginning of september, or would you like to wait?”
Matthew moved his hands into his lap, below the table. “Whenever is convenient,” he said.
Jacques jumped in. “Well, you certainly don’t have to decide now. We have weeks before school starts.”
Luke nodded. “Yes, that is true. Is there anything you want to do with your remaining summer, lad?”
“Nothing comes to mind sir,” Matthew’s voice had gotten even smaller. 
“Come on, there must be something,” said Luke. “What do you like to do in your spare time?”
Matthew remained silent. His eyes had retreated to the tablecloth once again.
Nonono! thought Jacques. He searched his mind desperately for a way to fix the conversation.
He stretched and yawned. “Well, I do not know about you, but I am tired,” Jacques said. “Luke and I can clean up the dishes; Matthew, there is a television in the basement if you want, and a bookshelf in the den. You can do what you want until you want to go to bed, oui?” 
Matthew nodded, stood up, and walked upstairs without another word.  Luke watched him go, then turned to Jacques with hurt in his eyes. 
“Why did you do that?” he demanded. “We were almost having a conversation.”

Matthew shut the door as quietly as he could, collapsing against it. He felt exhausted, and still hungry. He hadn’t taken enough food when he was offered, and he didn’t want to ask for more. 
Either way, now he finally had some time to himself. Hopefully Luke and Jacques would now spend the rest of the night arguing, and forget about him. 
Matthew pulled his bag out from under the bed and rifled through it. He pulled a bar of soap and a plastic knife. Now he could get down to business.
The one thing that had been abundant in the last home he had been in was soap. No one ever seemed to notice if one of the blocky, chemical-smelling bars went missing. Matthew discovered that the bars could be formed into the shapes of animals, people and things when he was younger, and had spent most of his free time carving ever since.
Holding the plastic knife by the very tip, he began carefully stroking the surface of the soap, peeling off shavings that fell onto the floor in a neat pile. He began by making the shape of the block softer, more ovular, before deciding what to make.
Wanting a model for this carving, he reached into his suitcase again and pulled out a worn and yellowed stuffed polar bear. Snowy had been with him no matter where he went, and Matthew refused to give him up even though he was aware he was technically too old for a stuffed toy. He posed his old friend on his floppy back legs, and continued carving.

“-but why not?!” 
Luke said angrily, doing the dishes with more vigour than was necessary. Jacques sighed from the table, where he was moving the remains of the roast into a tupperware. 
“My dear, I understand you were trying to make conversation, but all those questions were scaring him!”
“All I wanted to do was talk! I never asked him anything probing, or tried to pretend we were already close, or-“
“It wasn’t what you were asking him,” Jacques sighed and put the leftovers in the fridge. “Matthew seems to be a very private boy. We need to respect his boundaries, at least for a few days, before we start trying to get him out of his shell. You said yourself, God knows what he’s been through. We have to be patient.”
Luke remained silent, his shoulders hunched over the sink as the frantic washing slowed. Jacques walked over to him and wrapped his arms around him, resting his chin on Luke’s shoulder. He watched Luke’s hands as they scrubbed a plate, going around the edges in slow, methodic circles.
“But for a second there… It felt like we were joking. Like everything was falling into place,” Luke said quietly. “I thought it was okay.”
Jacques wrapped Luke tighter in the hug. “My dear,” he said. “We will get there.”

Matthew worked on the soap bear until his the light from the window faded. He had managed to render the face of the little statue, with fur pushed back across it’s snout and a bewildered look in it’s tiny eyes. He looked down at the pile of soap shavings, which had grown into a small mountain. He scooped some up in one hand and let them fall back down between his fingers.
In the quiet he heard the faint creaking of feet on the stairs. Was he supposed to be in bed yet? Matthew wasn’t sure. With one sweep of his hand, he quickly brushed the shavings under the rug, and tucked Kuma under one arm like a football. Then he soundlessly vaulted into the bed, pulling the covers up to his chin to hide that he was still fully clothed.
“Matthew?” Luke’s voice came through the door. “Are you all right in there?”
“Yessir,” Matthew answered, glancing around the room. He thought everything was left as he found it- no! He had left his carving on the floor! He quickly reached down and knocked it under the bed with the shavings. Matthew cringed at the slight clatter it made when it hit the ground.
Luke, though, seemed to take no notice of the sound. “You should probably turn out your lights soon. If you get hungry in the night, Jacques left some food in the fridge. You can heat it up in the microwave if you want. Do you remember where the bathroom is?”
“Yessir,” Matthew repeated. He thought he could hear the a sigh through the door, but he wasn’t sure.
“All right.” 
After a slight pause Luke spoke again. “Goodnight, Matthew.”
“G’night, sir.”
Matthew listened until he could hear feet on the stairs again before he relaxed. He crawled out of the bed and retrieved the statue from the floor. One of the ears had shattered off when he had knocked it under the bed. He sighed and gently placed the bear in his bag. 
It was late, and even though he wasn’t tired Matthew thought he had better go to sleep. He pulled off his favourite red hoodie and jeans, crawling into bed in his boxers and a stained white t-shirt.
The sheets were clean, and smelled faintly of lavender. Matthew guessed even though he wasn’t a fan of his “new home”, it wasn’t terrible. At least everything seemed pretty clean. And he didn’t have to fight a bunch of other kids to get at the dinner table.

If nothing else, Matthew thought as he slowly drifted off, I’ll finally get some peace and quiet.

Short Story Prompt: There was a thump from the kitchen.

James was having a great dream about giant peaches when he was awoken by a thumping noise from the kitchen.
The darn cat, he thought as he rolled over. he slowly cracked open an eye, intending to go downstairs and feed Fluffs just to shut him up. However, when he sat up he was greeted by Fluffs sitting on the end of his bed, licking his butt.
James was much more awake now.
He grabbed an old baseball bat he kept under his bed specifically for this purpose and slowly crept down the hallway. He could see the light of the kitchen was on, and a large shadow was being cast into the hallway. Belatedly, James wondered if he should have called the cops first.
The floor creaked under his feet, and James pressed himself against the wall. The movement from the kitchen paused.
“Yo, Ivan.”
Ivan? James thought. He lowered the bat and slowly approached the kitchen door.
A girl was standing in the middle of the room, raiding one of his cupboards. Her jeans and tank-top fit like a second skin, and her dyed-blond hair was a mass of tangles. The smell of beer permeated the entire room.
She turned around, looking only mildly surprised as she twisted the lid off of the Nutella jar. “You aren’t Ivan.”
“No, I’m not,” said John. “How did you get into my apartment?”
The girl stuck two fingers into the jar, scooped out a glob of the chocolate sauce and popped it into her mouth. A clump remained smeared on the corner of her cheek. “I guess Ivan gave me the wrong key.”
James vaguely remembered giving a spare key to his next-door neighbour. “Oh. Well, I guess you should head off to Ivan’s then.” He gestured vaguely with the baseball bat.
“Mmm, no,” she replied, still eating Nutella straight out of the jar with her fingers. “I like your food better. Ivan's got some stupid vegan-gluten-free thing going on.”
James didn’t know how to respond. “Oh.”
“So I’m gonna stay here. Y’know, just crash on your couch, okay?”
“Yeah.”
James dumbly moved aside as the girl strode into his living room and curled up on the couch, jar still in hand. “I’m Carrie, by the way.”
“Oh.”
“You can leave now.”
“‘Kay.”

James ambled back along the hallway to bed, where Fluffs was still sitting and licking himself. He couldn’t really comprehend what had just happened. But it was three in the morning. James lay down in his bed, and slept surprisingly well for a victim of breaking and entering.

Six Word Stories - In collaboration with Ally Cantalini, Meaghan Headrick, and Jessica Yarrow

Happily ever after, for them anyways.
Hopefully, tomorrow will soon become today.
In want of cheap manual labourer.
Are you selling? Are you buying?
I tried, whisper. I tried, scream.
Sam, the test results came back. Positive.
Get rid of it. Right now.
Let me explain why I’m naked.
His final words, I will return.
And then they cooked it alive. 
Time to go, but I don’t.
I never loved you, because I can’t.
Tell me, is it still there?
Just go to sleep, he hissed.
What do you mean, Dumbledore dies?
What am I, an idiot? Yes.
For simpler instructions, become much smarter.
My addiction was slowly becoming stronger.
I could see, but had no power.
Help wanted: Irish need not apply.
Can you really run in those?
I prefer white gold to silver.
Stop. I can’t do this anymore.
I tried and I tried, but…

I wish I’d been born elsewhere.

Short Story from Prompt: Write in internet chat form

Evry-Body-Luvs Messaged you!
Evry-Body-Luvs: hey! i saw ur landscapes and they're really cool!!! we should totally become internet friends :-)))))! check out my page!
G_H_Findalus: Hey, thanks! It’s always nice to know that someone appreciates my work :). But this is my account for my photography class, so I can’t follow anyone who isn’t educational. 
Evry-Body-Luvs: Hahaha but I can teach you lots ;-).
G_H_Findalus: Sorry, I really can’t. Nice meeting you though!
Evry-Body-Luvs: awwwww. hey, give me ur personal account! we can chill that way!
G_H_Findalus: Don’t have one. Sorry, bye!
Evry-Body-Luvs: cmon, i just wanna be friends! i’m really lonely :-(((((.
Evry-Body-Luvs: everybody has accounts these days! what about facebook? u got twitter?
Evry-Body-Luvs: why r u ignoring me awww so mean :’-(((((((((((.
Evry-Body-Luvs: hey u a boy or a girl.
Evry-Body-Luvs: bet ur a girl hahaha.
G_H_Findalus: You don’t know what gender I am. Please leave me alone.
Evry-Body-Luvs: hahaha total girl response. i can see ur pictures only girls would photograph birds.
G_H_Findalus: Birds are beautiful creatures. anyone could photograph them. I could be a boy.
Evry-Body-Luvs: you said could b total girl.
G_H_Findalus: I’m blocking you.

Evry-Body-Luvs-2 Messaged you!
Evry-Body-Luvs-2: HAHA NICE TRY YOU CANT BLOCK ME YOU HEARTLESS
Evry-Body-Luvs-2: SO MEAN I BET UR MOTHER REGRETS U WERE BORN
Evry-Body-Luvs-2: I CANT BELIEVE U DONT EVN WANT FRIENDSIP I JUST WNTEW TO B FRIENDS
Evry-Body-Luvs-2: PROBLLY THE WORST HUMAN ON THEB PLANET DIE

Evry-Body-Luvs-3 Messaged you!
Evry-Body-Luvs-3: Haha u posted a house photo i can see ur address i kno where u live now cant avoid me any longer
G_H_Findalus

Last online: 06/12/2013

Short Story from Prompt: "I'm not nearly old enough for you..."

“I’m not nearly old enough for you…”
“Shut up, Fred. Chess is incredible.”
Jackson carefully moved his knight forward, calculating the future possibilities. Fred retaliated by casually throwing a pawn two spaces out.
“Seriously, what are you, eighty, ninety? You should seek company your own age, old man.”
“You said if I won COD I could choose the next game.”
“I meant video game,” replied Fred. “Plus, I didn’t think you’d win.”
“And if you’d stop complaining and play the game, you’d see how like COD this is.”
Fred snorted as Jackson moved his knight again, neatly collection Fred’s pawn. “No, man, it isn’t.”
“Oh really. How so?”
Fred moved his rook out into the front line of pawns, nearly knocking over his king in the process. “This is a game for cerebral people. Like, Professor X and stuff. I don’t have the time or attention span to beat someone in chess.”
“But it’s all just strategy,” Jackson said, moving a pawn out one space. “Just like COD. Lots of famous generals used to play chess to keep their skills sharp. Like, Napoleon.”
“Dude, but I’m not nearly smart enough for stuff like this,” replied Fred. He moved the rook and casually collected the knight, throwing the plastic piece between his hands.
“I beg to differ. You just took my knight, man.”
Fred looked at the piece in his hands. “Is it important?”
Yes.
“Huh,” Fred threw the knight in the air one more time. “New deal.”
“Yeah?”
“I win this, we go back to COD.”
“Deal.”
“And you let me command your every move in team mode and be the general.”
“…Fine. But you’re still a chess newbie man.”
“Yeah,” said Fred, grinning and flipping the knight between his fingers. “But I got your little horse man.”
“…Dude, I still have one more of those.”

“Oh.”

Assassin Story with New Strikethroughs

Death By Assassin By Meredith Woodiwiss
The moon was too small to provide enough light, and the street lamps had not been lit in years. Most of the inhabitants of the city knew better than to be out after dark. Yet there were always a few stragglers that missed the unofficial curfew, who had to hurry through the darkened streets with their necks hunched between their shoulders. 
There was a thunk from within the shadows, and all in the vicinity ducked instinctively. They paused, crouching against walls, chests heaving, while a silent figure climbed rapidly up the side of a building.
The compulsion to look up grabbed the curious, and though the light was sparse, metal gleamed on the man as he ran across the rooftops. Hood catching wind, legs a blur on the shingled roof, he jumped and disappeared into the busy sea of tightly-packed buildings. 
Releasing a collective sigh of relief, and the citizens continued their frantic race home. No one could remember when the plague of assassins first appeared in the city, but they now ruled the night, open for hire to anyone from the richest noble to the poorest street gang. They were not known for their discrimination of character; just for their ruthless skill and unknown identities. And by day, the dangerous hooded men could be anyone.
With their doors shut and locked, the quiet inhabitants of Trenell finally felt safer, but never at ease.

Andryn was breathing heavily by the time he got to the house. Panting, he quietly pulled himself in through the unlocked window, making sure to close it tightly behind him. For just a second, he allowed himself to stand and breathe, pushing back the hair that had fallen out of his ponytail and over his forehead before yanking his hood up to cover his face once again.
Metal clinking softly, Andryn walked over to a table covered in shiny knick knacks standing in the hall near the window. He picked up a little golden egg and held it up to the sparse light. The surface was embedded with tiny blue stones, and pressed with a pattern of ducks following each other to a pond. There was a line of mama ducks with a few little ducks, followed by an egg with tiny webbed feet poking out bouncing along behind them all. Turning it around in his leather-clad hands, Andryn inspected the pattern, tracing it with his eyes. It was pretty cute.
Andryn slipped the egg into his pocket. Whatever rich guy lived here could consider it a down-payment.
The thick carpet muffling his heavy-booted footsteps, he made his way down the hall, picking up and examining every fancy trinket that lined the way. There were more artifacts here than in The Conquerer’s national museum, more jewels than in the royal family’s treasury.
Eventually, he made his way to what looked like the main office. It had the classic Big Desk, covered in stacks of official looking papers, anyways. Andryn crouched on a bookshelf, where he thought would be scariest, and waited. 

The bells of midnight had long since chimed when a paunchy man teetered into the office and sat down at the desk. He picked some of the papers and began organizing them, shuffling and placing the already neat piles in different orders. When the man finally deemed them suitable,  he leaned forward in the large plush chair and fixed his eyes on the doors, head twitching occasionally like he had a crick in his neck. He reminded Andryn of a chicken, with his nest of government documents and his bobbing head.
If I cut off his head, Andryn mused. would he continue to run around filling out papers and attending meetings for a few days?
The man continued to stare at the door. Andryn’s legs began to cramp. Was this man really so imperceptive that he didn’t notice what was sitting on his own bookshelf? Somehow Andryn was glad the man wasn’t a target. It would just be too easy. 
Eventually, Andryn tired of the game. He shifted just an inch, letting the wood creak beneath him. He could see the man’s head swivel in his direction, his pinprick eyes wandering gradually over to Andryn’s form on top of the bookshelf. He letting out a squawk and falling backwards into his plush seat. 
Exactly like a chicken, Andryn thought as. He hopped down from his perch. He hoped that it was dark enough in the office that the man couldn’t see his huge, cheeky grin.
He stalked around the room, going over the man’s possessions with his hands. Andryn wondered what he could touch that would make the terrified bloke speak up.
He wandered the office, fingers trailing over the numerous objects that sat in the dim lighting, ignoring the beady stares from his future employer. His fingers hit the polished surface of a medallion, lingering for a moment on the royal insignia.
“Ah… that’s… don’t…” the chicken man’s voice cracked like a schoolboy’s, each word stuttered and hesitant.
Andryn spun around on his heels and stalked towards the desk. The man gulped audibly.
He stopped in front of the desk and peered at the man through his hood. The handy one-way material meant Chicken-man only saw dark fabric where his eyes should be. Very handy for intimidation.
Andryn sat in the chair in front of the desk and put his boots up on the fine wood. Chicken-man let loose another squawk as dirt crumbled onto a letter with an important-looking seal. He pulled out a handkerchief, and dabbed at the sweat running down his face.
“I, ah, have called you here because the crown is in need of your….s-services,” the man managed to stutter out the beginning of something resembling a business plan. Andryn remained silent.
“There is a man… we require him to be d-dispatched,” Chicken-man twitched at the mention of murder.
It’s not like he’s the one who actually has to do it, thought Andryn. He never liked the ones who acted uncomfortable with the idea of ordering a kill. They were all overreacting babies.
Chicken-man picked up a folder near Andryn’s feet and brushed off some of the dirt splattered onto its surface. “We’ve compiled a folder of information on the mark. His habits, where he’s staying…”
Ah, the classic Folder of Information. Now Andryn was going to have to pretend he could read. He grabbed the folder out of the man’s shaking hands and flipped it open, inspecting each word-covered page with care before flipping it, looking for something visual to go off.
In the back there was a folded paper, ink bleeding through the waxy surface. He picked it up and unfolded it, hoping for a sketch.
When Andryn’s eyes met the pair on the parchment his heart dropped into his boots. He quickly put the paper back into the folder and stood up, tugging at his hood to make sure it was fully covering his eyes and nose. Chicken-man rose quickly to join him.
“S-so, we have a deal?” he asked, extending a quivering hand. Andryn extended his own and gave the man a quick, firm shake. He, at least, hid his trembling better.
Then he left the office in a sprint.

His feet pounded across the rooftop once again, but this time he had to remind himself to keep quiet. He had always loved the feeling of the wind in his hair, of being out when everyone else remained inside. Andryn could feel his breath rushing in and out as he leapt over the gaps between houses three stories up, defying death like it was an arrogant policeman. But his heart was still beating too fast, and not because of adrenaline. That he was used to.
It seemed to take far too long for Andryn to reach the open window of the Flying Cow, and he vaulted through it so recklessly he almost broke one of the shutters off its hinges with his boot. Once he righted himself, he crossed the room in quick strides to the dusty mirror hanging on one blank wall.
Andryn ripped the drawing from within the file, letting the other useless papers scatter and flutter to the floor like broken feathers. His hands now shaking as hard as Chicken-man’s, he ripped off his hood and unfolded the paper next to his face.
The drawing displayed the same squinted eyes. The same light hair pulled into a half-hearted ponytail. His jaw was dotted with the same stubble as the picture’s, and his ears even stuck out in the same obscure fashion.
His own face was looking out at him from a crown-issued poster, meant for an assassin.
Andryn collapsed onto the bed, but sprung back to his feet almost immediately and began pacing the room. Nervous energy coursed through his body, energy that was usually gone by the time he had ran across the city and back. His shoes made no noise on the worn floorboards as he walked back and forth, thinking and questioning and wondering.

Andryn woke up the next morning with the side of his face pressed uncomfortably to the floor of the room. He vaguely remembered pacing until his legs gave out and falling asleep right where he stopped. He stretched and rubbed his pounding head. Formulations of a half-thought out plan from the previous night began to come back to him. Andryn pushed himself onto his elbows and off the floor.
He had fallen asleep in his assassin’s gear. He removed the hood that had become askew in the night, and hung his heavily padded jacket on a hook behind the door. He left his tool belt behind also, hiding the knife-decorated leather in a sack under the bed with his crossbow. The heavy boots, tattered grey shirt, and thick trousers he kept on.
Andryn walked down the stairs of the inn, adopting a bowlegged swagger as he went. He walked to the front desk and leaned against it, smiling brightly while waiting for the owner of the inn to finished speaking with another guest.
“Tomath!” the owner turned to him, a genuine grin equal to Andryn’s false one lighting his face. “You’re up!”
“Gotta get an early start today, Mr. Fanin,” Andryn said to the portly man, adopting a country drawl. “I’m headed back home this afternoon.”
Mr. Fanin’s smile drooped within the folds of his beard. “So soon, lad? I thought you’d be staying until the Fall Festival.”
Andryn sighed and rubbed his forehead, a picture of worry. “My sis’ fell off one of the horses. She’s broken her wrist. I gotta be home t’ help with the harvest.”
Mr. Fanin tutted. “My! I’m sorry to hear that. But what about your family’s market stall?”
“My gran’s feeling better, so she’s going to take over again,” Andryn said, remembering his original cover story. “I was really just kickin’ around t’ use the rest of the time we paid for.” 
“Oh, lad,” said Mr. Fanin kindly. “I’ll refund the money! You’ve been such a joy to have, never making a peep, cleaning your own room…”
That was a nice touch, thought Andryn.
“… not to mention how you’ve more than earned your keep babysitting! You’re practically family now, lad.”
“You’re too kind, Mr. Fanin,” Andryn summoned a blush to his cheeks. “S’what I’d do for anyone.”
“And modest too,” Mr. Fanin winked. “Ah, the inn just won’t be the same without you, boy. Tell you what, get packed and we’ll have a big old family brunch to say goodbye.”
“Oh, sir, you don’t have to do that!” Ooh, free food.
“Nonsense! The girls will want to see you off anyways. I’ll tell the wife. Be back down by eleven, y’hear?”

By that afternoon Andryn was setting off on the dusty road from the inn, with a pack on his back and a belly full of sticky buns. The Fanin family had prepared him a grand send off, with more food than he had eaten since his last payload. It was nice to see the kids, Sashia and Malaya, for one last time too.
But now Andryn had to get ready for the oncoming storm. Somebody wanted him dead? Well, they would get him dead. But it was going to take some figuring.
He would need a body, a match,  a couple of handfuls of straw, and some rope.

It was twilight when Andryn reached the dark alleyway he had chosen for his death. He threw a sack containing some half-rotted guy from the city crypt down onto the cobblestones and dragged the corpse out.
Andryn grabbed his rope and tied it under the dead man’s armpits, throwing the other end over an old flagpole that stuck out over the alleyway. He hoisted the body up until it would look like a regular man standing around from the street. Fixing his hood, Andryn pulled out his knife and waited.
It didn’t take very long for the doors in the nearby pub to open and spill half a dozen intoxicated patrons onto the street. Showtime, Andryn thought.
With quick, practiced motions he began stabbing the corpse in its rotted gut, making noises in the back of his throat that he had heard his marks make before. Hearing the odd, guttural sounds, one of the pub-goers turned to the alley and gasped.
“Ah- ah… Look!” he yelled, nearly losing his balance and falling over one of his friends.
Murder! Assassin!” screamed a girl.
The crowd erupted into intoxicated shouts of despair, milling around each other uselessly. Andryn finished mauling the dead man and jumped up onto the roof of one of the buildings, scrabbling from windowsill to windowsill until he reached his high perch. Then, he pulled out a match and struck it on the rough stone.
Andryn dropped the lit match down into the alley. The straw he had placed on the cobblestones earlier that day quickly caught fire. The dark alleyway lit up with bright flames, a tiny personal hell, as the terrified people screamed. It was hilarious.
As a final touch, Andryn stuck the knife inside his hood and carefully sawed off his ponytail. He stared at the gold skein in his hands before dunking it into the water in the roof’s gutters.
“Farewell, my friend,” he said, and dropped three years worth of hair down onto the flaming body.
Andryn fled the rooftop to find a more suitable place to watch his chaos from.

Thanks to the screams of the pub-goers, the Royal Guard turned up quickly, dousing the fire with water from a nearby trough. The majority of the city’s makeshift policemen began questioning witnesses, but two were loading what was left of the body into the back of a wagon.
Andryn watched the wagon pull away, headed towards the city pit. He followed on the rooftops, just a few seconds behind the trotting horses on the street.
It was dark by the time they reached the giant hole at the edge of Trenell. The pit in which the military threw the unclaimed dead stank with decay. Andryn wrinkled his nose and leaned just slightly out of the shadows to watch the guards.
They had take “his” body out of the carriage and appeared to be trying to identify it. The guards had multiple pieces of paper and were holding them up to the battered face of the deceased. He saw one holding out his hank of hair as well, which had singed but not burned thanks to the water, and jabbing his finger at one image in particular.
After a while they both seemed to agree and scratched at a piece of paper with a quill. Then they dumped the body with little ceremony, unsaddled the horses from the cart, and rode back towards the city. They left the little guardhouse wide open. Suckers. 
Andryn walked into the unlocked guardhouse. In the din, he found two messy piles of paper on the desk. One was completely made up of written documents; those he put into his coat for later. The other was pictures, very similar to the one he was given of himself. They showed a wide variety of men, all in a simple forward-facing pose. He stuck these in his jacket also, and headed back into the heart of the city under the cover of darkness.

The Pigeon was probably at one point a very respectable pub, meant for tired, law-abiding citizens to relax after a hard days’ work. However, when a few assassins had taken a liking to it, it’s reputation had quickly gone downhill. Now the owner trembled as he served amber whiskey to hooded men, and a for-sale sign was hopefully and permanently lodged in the window frame.
Only one of the three fireplaces were lit to stave off the end-of-summer chill, but it cast just enough light to see by. Andryn made a beeline to a stool by the only oil lamp in the establishment.
Dirty spectacles flickering in the firelight, a young man sat reading a book that was thicker than his forearm. His eyes moved back and forth at such a rapid speed that they looked like they may bounce out of his skull. He was referred to as “Books” by the assassins, for obvious reasons.
Andryn pulled a chair up in front of Books and cleared his throat. Books did not look up, but extended one skinny finger in front of himself. Andryn sat patiently.
After a few minutes Books slammed the novel shut, making a bang that startled the patrons of the pub. He carefully set the book on a cloth spread on the floor, then turned his attention to Andryn.
“So,” he said, looking at Andryn with a vague, languid interest. “Got anything interesting for me?”
Andryn pulled the papers out of his coat, unfolding them and handing them to Books.
“Hrmm,” Books looked over the papers rapidly, lips moving as he processed each one. “Nice.”
He looked up at Andryn blankly, sitting on his information like a hen on her eggs. Andryn pulled a silver coin out of a pouch on his belt and flicked it to him.
Books reached out to catch it, but missed. It hit the floor with a clatter, forcing him to pick it up, muttering curses under his breath. Andryn smiled at the picture of ruined bravado.
Books straightened and pushed his glasses up on his nose. “Its mostly just profiles. You know, like the ones officials give when they order a kill. The only one of interest is this,” Books pulled one of the sheets of parchment to the top of the pile. “It’s a list.”
Andryn rotated his chair so he was next to Books, looking over his shoulder at the indiscernible markings. “A list of what?” he asked.
Books shrugged. “I don’t really know what it means,” he said. “But over here are the names of Assassins.” He ran his fingers down one side of the page. “Fire-breath. Stormer. Vanders the Ruthless. Even you’re here, Shadow-smoke.”
He brushed the column of text on the other side of the parchment. “Then on this side there are normal names, like Leon Fellows and Andryn Summenset and Menbran Allahanan.”
Andryn’s eyes widened. Someone had made the connection between him and his career. Even worse, that someone was the Royal Guard.
Unable to see Andryn’s shocked expression, Books continued. “Then someone drew all these lines across the page in charcoal. They connected all the assassins to the regular folk. You got that Andryn guy.” Books shrugged and handed back the paper. “It looks like some sort of master hit list to me. Do you want me to give you all the names as well?”
“No. No, it’s all right,” Andryn said, his mind all ready racing. “Thanks, Books.”
Andryn stood up and took the papers, absently placing another silver coin in Books’s hand. He could barely feel his own feet as he walked out of the Pigeon.
Once outside, Andryn collapsed against the wall and slid down onto the cobblestone. Someone, or more likely multiple, important someones, knew the identities of all the Assassins of Trenell. Not only that, but they were ordering them to kill each other off. They had accidentally assigned Shadow-smoke, him, to kill Andryn Summenset, also him.

It was all so complicated, Andryn almost wished he was dead.